Years of my Youth.
A walk with God (:Archive for December, 2008
Rounding up 2008
Once again it is this time of the year…
i was looking through the archives of my blogs, MSN convos, emails, the works i’ve done (BB policy paper, SOP, Bio pracs, commentaries, EE etc etc) and saw God’s hand in it all. Hence i would like to end this year with gratitude and begin 2009 on a note of faith. Christ Jesus my Lord and Saviour has been good to me, indeed He is faithful and true, carrying me through all the ups and downs as promised, and most importantly, granting me a deeper revelation of Himself.
The year has been the most turbulent so far, particularly on the spiritual and emotional level (not an intelligent year as i hoped, sadly). It’s difficult to unload thoughts and feelings from my mind all at once.. but i’ll try.
Spirituality
i’ve been exceedingly and immensely blessed in this respect as i made this the top priority of the year. Thanks be to God, and my dear brothers and sisters in Christ who edified me in Spirit and in Truth! These are some amazing people i would especially like to acknowledge and thank:
1. John Tay
i can never thank you enough for taking the risk and became my mentor in FireAC. Thank you for teaching me how to pray & intercede with with every fiber of my being and delight in it (because to be with Christ is most delightful), for inspiring me to be more firmly rooted in the Word, for admonishing me when my judgment is clouded, for reassuring me (of God’s unfailing grace and faithfulness) when i realized the gravity of my sins, for urging me to be zealous & sacrificial in doing God’s work, for the books (The Kneeling Christian. An Acceptable Sacrifice. Back to Jerusalem), and for praying that i’ll love Jesus through and through. You have became a role model of passion, compassion and humility (tho i really disliked your pride when i first got to know you) to me. By refusing to take credit for yourself but giving all glory to God whenever i thank you, you have shown yourself faithful and humble before the Lord, and that is true courage and strength. i will take up the blazing baton and pass it on to my junior in good condition, by the grace and mercy of God as well. May our God Himself continue to preserve you and sanctify you as you delight in Him, so that you may be more and more Christlike!
2. Caleb Lin
Like i said, all the antagonistic “arguments” (as you put it) we exchange helped to put all things into perspective. Thank you for all the challenging questions that pointed me to Christ Himself with His absolute and constant goodness! (: i really do have a lot to learn from you. Thank you for your faithfulness and commitment to God’s work in FireAC and in class, despite all the undesirable happenings throughout the course of the year. Thanks for the yummy food you personally cooked and snacks you bought to share with all (i suppose your locker number is the hottest in ACSi) during gatherings etc. You have been a generous blessing. May God continue to prosper you in all things as your soul prospers with an ever increasing knowledge of Christ Himself!
3. Timothy Lim
(: Your words (spoken and written on blog) and prayer never fail to comfort, encourage and inspire. You have blazed the trail and exhibit the glory of God in so many areas, so remarkably, and yet remain humble and helpful. So thank you for setting a good example (of diligence and perseverance too) in Christ. Thank you for loving and caring for us when we are down, for calling us when we needed someone to talk to and pray with. May God set Himself before you as always, leading you in all wisdom and truth.
4. Kenneth Lim
Thank you for your obedience and faith to establish FireAC and keep it moving. Through serving in this ministry i’ve grown so much in the knowledge of God & people, and forged precious friendship that can last forever (the blood of Christ binds and redeems). Thank you for your brotherly kindness & concern at times, especially when i’m not doing well (such as for mid-years). Some of your words are faith-filled and very inspiring, thank you for speaking life! May God continue to use you mightily and exalt you as you humble yourself before Him, may you abide in Him with joy for He is our portion and hope always. (:
5. Emil Ng
Thank you for encouraging me in the Lord from time to time, for giving me your e-Sword too! xD You have inspired me to worship God in Spirit and in Truth, from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for leading worship faithfully in FireAC. i pray that you will have no lack as you abide in Christ and as He mould you in His likeness day by day.
6. Daniel Chng
Thank you for receiving me so warmly into FireAC and BB in the beginning of the year, and for trusting me enough to share the issues of your heart (it’s still safe with me) during that period of time too. Thank you for showing me your spiritual journal, which touched me deeply (the imagery of the silver and the silversmith). You also inspired me to love the Word. May God grant you the courage to glorify Him even in adverse situations and draw you closer to Himself as you seek Him.
7. Mr Charles Ng
Thank you Sir for building us up in God through sharing during FireAC pitstops, Primers Bible Studies and blogging (your blog is one of the most edifying one i know of). Thank you for nurturing so many God-fearing men during your service as the OIC of my seniors. i have learnt a lot from God through you. May God grant you the wisdom and discernment to find yourself a wife of noble character and have children who love God wholeheartedly, as you find sufficiency in Christ and seek to glorify Him in all things. (x
8. Timothy Loh
Hello world, this is me thanking my godbrother here!
Thank you 干弟 for the wonderful time during WoW, where God moved powerfully in our midst. It is really awesome to see God empowering you to lead the devotions that caused many of us to confess our sins & repent, and brought Shiru and Lisa (our new sisters in Christ!) into the bond of Love. i’m very proud of you (=
May you find the Holy Spirit our Comforter, Helper and Counselor as your best friend, and may God grant you knowledge, understanding and wisdom in abundance so that you will be more effective for Him. <3
9. The evergreen sisterhood
My dearest fellow darling (you know who you are) babes of BB. Thank you for the wonderful times we had praying with one another, to seek God Himself, to seek for His counsel to handle all the mess we got ourselves into, and for our friends and families etc, throughout the course of this tumultuous year. The spiritual connection we shared at various points in time were astounding, and heartening as well. Thank you for the times where we opened up ourselves to one another with all honesty and vulnerability, for that speaks of trust and genuine love, the kind of friendship that is so so so so difficult to find nowadays!! How precious it is.
i pray sincerely that each and every one of us will enthrone Jesus as our First Love, because He is the center of all things, and in Him all things hold together (that include our sanity, and the sisterly love that we share). 2009 may be insane to us at times, but with God as our guide, and with each other by our side, we will brave through the storms, sure and stedfast!
BB GIRLS FOR THE WIN!!!!!!! =D
Relationships
1) BGR
Not ready to blog about it yet, but i do have a lot to say about it… till a more appropriate time, i promise.
Just in case anyone gets a wrong idea, i have made a covenant with God since 15, to abstain from BGR till 20 years of age. i have not, and will not break it.
2) Friendship
In an old blog post written on 21/09/2007, i wrote, “Talking about friends, to me, it has always been the quality and never the quantity. i’m contented to have a handful of close friends instead of a bunch of acquaintances. Then again, quantity is potential quality; the acquaintance of today might be your intimate friend tomorrow. Therefore, i will breakthrough my cocoon, be much more outgoing, and make lots of friends in the years ahead. Hahas, sounds like an emergence of a social butterfly!”
Coming to ACS, joining FireAC and BB are the best decisions i’ve ever made after The Best decision to follow Jesus. Actually God made those decisions and presented them to me (so i can still choose to turn them down) and i merely obeyed willingly. Not only did i find God and encountered Him more profoundly, i began to chum around, and gained many genuine and rare friends. These friendships seem too good to be true, but they really do exist, because they are anointed by the Presence of God. In His Presence, miracles are the norm.
Besides those mentioned above, there are people like Nicole Poh and Timothy Liang who are my best female friend in class and best guy friend in BB at this point in time… and many more close friends to name. Thank God for every single one of them <3
Work
1) BB
The late nights of churning out policy paper, standard operating procedures, administrative instructions etc have taught me the art of administration and increased my capacity and tenacity. It’s all worthy it.
2) Academic
The only regret i have this year is not working hard enough on my school work and getting average grades (tho i do give thanks for God’s grace in this). Then again i must thank people who helped me along the way, Jiayi (a year 7 who is studying in UCL now) for all the textbooks she passed me. John for tirelessly explain concepts, giving me his book, lending & giving me his notes, and for his encouragement. Kenneth, Timlim and Emil for giving me their notes and encourage me from time to time. Daniel and Charles for helping me with Econs. Audrey for all the precious notes and the help she willingly offered etc. Jayne, Sam, Pet for taking notes and sharing them generously with me. Nicole for giving me study tips and inspiring me to study smart. Tina for her company in and out of intensive mugging season, and for her notes. Even Timliang, for indirectly helping me with Bio, and reminding me to work hard.
2009 must be different. Studies will climb up my priority ladder but i do not want to compromise on Spirituality and significant friendships as well. So it will be a year of discipline (it is true that i lack self-restrain this year, wasting time on unproductive things) and faithfulness. And ultimately, that of fruitfulness! =)
To God Be The Glory. The Best Is Yet To Be!
=D Have a blessed and bountiful 2009 ahead!
SNG Nostalgia
An overdue post, since 28 November 2008.
Went back to St. Nicks to take my formal School Graduation Certificate with Audrey after the sleepover at my place (after Y6 Prom, which i crashed for post-prom activities at Clarke Quay).
It felt like returning to the embrace of a long lost mother, save that i’m no longer a child under her care…
She has grown old, and her beauty has faded since the last time i saw her… but nevertheless, i find her beautiful the way she is right now. (:
Spent some time with Audrey in the Canteen after collecting my Cert. Pity Orange Bowl wasn’t open, so we bought Chocolate Toast, Chicken Cheese Toast, Fried Fishcake and some veg from the Toast Store, and drinks from Uncle Mobin’s. My goodness, the good old times!
After being socked in SNG atmosphere (it’s hard to describe, it’s got the power to vivify, and i suddenly felt very sporty) and looking at the school track, i felt compelled to jog (the memories of morning jogs, NAPFA training & NAPFA, assembly and family dance flooded back). So i did, 6 rounds on the outermost lane under the afternoon heat (by then Audrey had left). Quite an amazing experience i must say.
Took some time to dry myself at the backyard, and was glad to see my friends who were very eager to see me too ^^
Hahas, they were stepping on each other, just to get a clearer view of me probably.
This one posed for me (x
The best time i had were spent with dance juniors who were preparing for CCA Fair. <3
It was a pleasure to see Chyi fang leading her juniors, to get to know them myself and to help out with the souvenirs and cleaning up.
Someone once said, “the young will eventually grow up and lead the young as they once were” and it’s really a touching thing to behold. It’s like the continuity a story that never ends and a hope that never dies. (=
After working on CCA Fair stuff, juniors and i spent sometime interacting. Oh man! Sec Ones ‘08 are so amazing!!!
This one is exceptional, Fang Ting’s sister with a humorous voice and amazing flexibility. xD
Did some Ji Ben Gong with them and realized that i could still do an over split, and hands off split without sound, which is quite heartening to know.
By the way, SNG Cheerleading OWNS as always! Don’t believe, go and check on YouTube!
Everything has changed, and is still changing, but certain things remain the same, and those things are those that really matters.
Jia You Chyi Fang! May 2009 be a blessed new year with new possibilities and may more of your potential be realized. (: <333
So glad i went for today’s service
There were hardly any dry eyes among us this evening…
Indeed God has revealed more of His goodness, power and glory through healing our sister Danielle of cancer.
Our eyes have seen and hears have heard a beautiful testimony that speaks of the compassion and character of Jesus and the deep love among members of His body.
A little faith will bring your soul to heaven,but a lot of faith will bring heaven to your soul.A lot of faith and more will bring heaven through your soul-Dwight L. Mood & me
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease
I trust in You
I believe You’re my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You’re my Portion
I believe You’re more than enough for me
Jesus You’re all I need
My Healer, You’re my Healer
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands
whEE!
=D It’s really a pleasure to do an Extended Essay of preferred choice.
Discovered this gem while doing research:
《不幸的她》
（张爱玲12岁发表的作品）
秋天的晴空，展开一片清艳的蓝色，清净了云翳，在长天的尽处，绵延着无边的碧水。那起伏的海潮，好像美人的柔胸在蓝网中呼吸一般，摩荡出洪大而温柔的波声。几只洁白的海鸥，活泼地在水面上飞翔。在这壮丽的风景中，有一只小船慢慢的掉桨而来：船中坐着两个活泼的女孩子，她们才十岁光景，袒着胸，穿着紧紧的小游泳衣服，赤着四条粉腿，又常放在船沿上，让浪花来吻她们的脚。像这样大胆的举动，她俩一点也不怕，只紧紧的抱着，偎着，谈笑着，游戏着，她俩的眼珠中流露出生命的天真的诚挚的爱的光来。
她俩就住在海滨，是M小学的一对亲密的同学。这两朵含苞的花是差不多浸在蔚蓝的水中生长的。今天，恐怕是个假期，所以划到海心游乐的吧！
“雍姊！你快看这丝海草，不是像你那管草哨子一样吗？拾它起来，我吹给你听！”她一面说，一面弯转了腰，伏在船沿上去把手探到水里。
雍姊忙着挡她，“仔细点！跌下去不是玩的。你不看见浪很大吗？”她不言语了，只紧靠在雍姊的怀里，显出依傍的神气。
夜暮渐渐罩下来，那一抹奇妙的红霞，照耀提海上金波似的。在那照彻海底的光明中，她俩唱着柔美的歌儿，慢慢地摇回家去。
暮色渐渐黯淡了，渐渐消失了她俩的影子。
五年之后，雍的爱友的父亲死了，她母亲带她到上海去依靠她的姨母，她俩就在热烈的依恋中流泪离别了。
在繁华的生活中又过了几年，她渐渐的大了，像一朵盛开的玫瑰一样。她在高中毕了业，过着奢华的生活。城市的繁荣，使她脑中的雍姊，和海中的游泳，渐渐的模糊了。
她二十一岁，她母亲已经衰老，忽然昏悖地将她许聘给一个纨侉子弟！她烧起愤怒烦恨的心曲，毅然的拒绝她，并且怒气冲冲的数说了她一顿，把母亲气得晕了过去。她是一个孤傲自由的人，所以她要求自立——打破腐败的积习——她要维持一生的快乐，只能咬紧了牙齿，忍住了泪痕，悄悄地离开了她的母亲。
飘泊了几年，由故友口中知道母亲死了。在彷徨中，忽然接到了童时伴侣雍姊的消息，惹她流了许多感激、伤心、欣喜的眼泪。雍姊师范学校毕业后，在商界服务了几年，便和一个旧友结了婚，现在已有了一个美丽活泼的女孩子，正和她十年前一样，在海滨度着快乐的生活。
几度通信后，雍姊明嘹了她的环境，便邀她来暂住。她想了一下，就写信去答允了。
她急急的乘船回来，见着了儿时的故乡，天光海色，心里蕴蓄已久的悲愁喜乐，都涌上来。一阵辛酸，溶化在热泪里，流了出来。和雍姊别久了，初见时竟不知是悲是喜。雍姊倒依然是那种镇静柔和的态度，只略憔悴些。
“你真瘦了！”这是雍姊的低语。
她心里突突地跳着，瞧见雍姊的丈夫和女儿的和蔼的招待，总觉怔怔忡忡的难过。
一星期过去，她忽然秘密地走了。留着了个纸条给雍姊写着：
“我不忍看了你的快乐，更形成我的凄清！
别了！人生聚散，本是常事，无论怎样，我们总有藏着泪珠撒手的一日！”
她坐在船头上望着那蓝天和碧海，呆呆地出神。
波涛中映出她的破碎的身影——啊！清瘦的——她长吁了一声！“一切和十年前一样——人却两样的！雍姊，她是依旧！我呢？怎么改得这样快！——只有我不幸！”
暮色渐浓了，新月微微的升在空中。她只是细细的在脑中寻绎她童年的快乐，她耳边仿佛还缭绕着那从前的歌声呢！
My author’s 处女作, written at a tender age of 12, 12!
That’s her. A legendary genius(who is enclosed in her ivory towel most of the time), and a tragic heroine(with eros as her tragic flaw).
She’s not my heroine though (mine would be people like Mother Theresa, Amy Carmichael, Elizabeth Elliot etc)… she was very much entrenched in worldliness, materialism etc, her philosophy was predominantly made up of existentialism and hedonism (all the things i’m trying to turn away from), and she outrightly rejected God.
What i admire about her is her unusually penetrating perception into the human psyche (especially the dark and aberrant side of human nature) , and her spectacular manipulation of words(it’s like… sophisticated yet simple, subtle yet astute…). And all that make my EE a fulfilling process. (=
Jesus, Lover of My Soul
Jesus, lover of my soul,
Let me to Thy bosom fly,
While the nearer waters roll,
While the tempest still is high!
Hide me, O my Saviour, hide,
Till the storm of life be past;
Safe into the haven guide,
Oh, receive my soul at last!
Other refuge have I none,
Hangs my helpless soul on Thee;
Leave, ah! leave me not alone,
Still support and comfort me!
All my trust on Thee is stayed,
All my help from Thee I bring;
Cover my defenseless head
With the shadow of Thy wing.
Wilt Thou not regard my call?
Wilt Thou not accept my prayer?
Lo! I sink, I faint, I fall—
Lo! on Thee I cast my care:
Reach me out Thy gracious hand!
While I of Thy strength receive,
Hoping against hope I stand,
Dying, and, behold, I live!
Thou, O Christ, art all I want;
More than all in Thee I find:
Raise the fallen, cheer the faint,
Heal the sick, and lead the blind.
Just and holy is Thy name;
I am all unrighteousness:
False and full of sin I am;
Thou art full of truth and grace.
Plenteous grace with Thee is found,
Grace to cover all my sin;
Let the healing streams abound,
Make and keep me pure within.
Thou of life the fountain art
Freely let me take of Thee:
Spring Thou up within my heart,
Rise to all eternity!
Lord, teach me how to know You and love You more! Bring me to the place where i can sing these verses with all sincerity of my heart, even at the expanse of suffering and brokenness of heart. Indeed i ask that You purge me, out of Your grace, justice and mercy. Create in me a true & pure heart in a world of deception & depravity.
~ Sign (of contentment), love good old stuffs like this, used to, still is, and probably will always do. <3
Playtime
Oh my, more than half way thru the hols and i’m still playing and NOT getting ANY of my WORK totally done… )=
Love those precious moments spent with dear ones tho, times like these:
TRAFFIC LIGHT! And it wasn’t even planned. xD
Oh wellz…
Mission Trip cancellation
Dear Lord,
We came before You confused, disappointed, compliant etc. Lord, once again i want to lay these jumbled feelings down before You. We acknowledge that many things are out of our control, and we cannot always have our ways in this world, but our hearts and minds are within our control (thank You for giving us the freedom of personal choice, but grant us discernment to make wise decisions too please), so i pray that we’ll always choose to let You have Your way in our hearts and minds.
We may not understand why things turn out this way after getting convictions and getting into actions, but Lord we trust that You are Sovereign, You allow the cancellation to happen for a reason, and it fits Your perfect master plan, which is good. So, help us, Lord to wait on You with trust, thanksgiving and faithfulness.
May You be with the children whom we were called to serve. We can no longer be Your hands and feet for them this time round, so may You pour out Your love on them through other means, and draw them closer to you.
Help us also, to be sober and vigilant, for indeed the mission field is where our feet are on, wherever and whenever.
In Jesus’s Name, Amen.
