Years of my Youth.
A walk with God (:Archive for BB
Thy Word…
Job 5:18 For He bruises, but He binds up;
He wounds, but His hands make whole.
I promise here that when i am set on high
and lifted to safety,
i will remember that i have been lowly
and mourning.
Times where i realize that i am weak,
that He is the One and Only…
who alone is more than sufficient for me.
Yes, Lord, despite the excruciating pain
and unstoppable tears,
my prayer is still the same:
Create in me a pure heart,
and renew in me a right spirit.
Cloth me in Your Presence,
and make me bear fruits in abundance.
Anna, if you happen to see this post (which is not supposed to be here), i want to thank you once again, from the bottom of my heart, for knowing God and loving Him so deeply, so that you can be such an effective channel of God’s blessing to me in my darkest hours and weakest moments. You are full of beauty and faith, to allow Christ to live and speak through you!
Also want to take this time to thank various people who have offered invaluable encouragement and support during this short but intense period: Mum, Dear Timliang, Charles, Allan, Yassy, Glenn, Ian, Gwen, Timloh, Daniel Loh, Tina, Lisa, Liu Yang, Sharon, Wilfred and Charmaine. <3
Last Day
And so it came.
Unbelievable.
i wanted to capture my experiences as an ACSib student in this post, but after writing and deleting many times, i realized that it is an impossible feat.
All that i can say is: THANK YOU GOD, for directing me into the school, for allowing me to experience soooo much and for guiding me through this final & crucial lap!
Honestly speaking, i’m very sad and reluctant to leave. Seldom do i feel a sentimental attachment to an institution, but ACS is an exception…
I was immensely touched and ministered by Ms Chock’s address today in the LT1. Her message is something that i will always treasure in my heart.
Prior to that, we finalized Project X. The responses were heartwarming and encouraging. Praise God!
(: He is great, and i am most blessed to submit to His will to be a part of this emblem of great endeavour. No one else will do, nothing else will do.
It’s time to bid this blog farewell for the time being (till 12 Nov).
A song that is stuck in my mind:
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that’s within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it’s way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I’ll stand
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I’m filled to be emptied again
The seed I’ve recieved I will sow
Amen!
Retreat
Obtained an excuse from Parade, to acquire a timely retreat to replenish my depleted (physical, psychological, intellectual and spiritual) resources, and prepare for the challenges to come. It proved to be immensely rewarding.
As I perambulate the maltreated path of solitude and soul-searching, the scented breeze, the scorching sun, and even the hubbub of Saturday traffic carried the voices of my Best Friend, the Holy Spirit. He spoke grimly yet gently, and compelled me to think, to reflect and to meditate…
Having a strong mentality is relatively easy, carrying it through is arduous.
A glorious dream costs nothing, but making it come to pass may cost me everything.
Having conquered the mountain once doesn’t mean that it is forever under my feet.
Am i the prizefighter, who fights hesitantly and half-heartedly?
Or am i to revert to the bitchy spiteful prizefighter that disregards everything else apart from the prize money?
It is easy to flatter with words.
Think of Goneril and Regan.
It is difficult to love in silence and through actions.
Think of Cordelia and Kent.
Would you be “foolish” enough to die an early but noble death?
Like that of Cordelia.
Or would you rather be “wise”, to die later, in the midst of senseless strive?
Like Goneril, Regan and Edmund.
Sigh.
After so many years of walking with Jesus, i have yet to understand Him, others, myself and the meanings and ways of life up to even a small extent.
i have yet to find my equilibrium in God, yet to live life the way He has intended.
Lord i pray that you grant me discipline, fortitude and perseverance as i set my mind to seek You, to glorify you and honour those who love and care for me.
Please guide me by the hand in wisdom, love and power as i humble myself to be Your child.
(: and i know that i’m not alone in this.
Epiphany
=D Finally, a more tangible (scholarly) career goal to fight for!
Thanks to the Senior Admin and teachers for giving that pragmatic and timely mass PC lecture to address serious academic matters. Need it and appreciate it!
There’s a scholarship i feel called to achieve (if it’s truly God’s will, it will come to pass. i’ll do my outmost best on my part to attain it). i shall not reveal the name of it nor the organization that offers it as of now, because i’m not 100% sure yet. Basically it requires me to:
1) Obtain excellent academic grades (you know what to do, just do it!)
2) Excellent SATs score (ok set, i’m taking it in May)
3) Excellent NAPFA score (pure Gold again? Why not?! God is the same yesterday, today and forever.)
4) Good CCA records (do CASL & NYAA logging seriously)
5) Strong leadership qualities (thanks to BB & class & school)
6) Excel somewhere
7) Possess a strong interest in something
Come to think of it, everything just links! Coming to AC, taking IB, the one-of-a-kind subject combi (woohoo, my Y6 teachers are cool. And did i mention? Mr. Chirnside R.O.C.K.S BIG TIME!!!), joining BB, signing up for NYAA and now with the future before me…
God has been faithful and good to me, to say the very least. So i will continue to trust in Him wholeheartedly, knowing that He will direct my path according to His Will and for the glory of His Name. i know it will be from faith to faith and glory to glory. (=
*******
The FireAC meeting we had just now was heartwarming and interesting. An uplifting time of encouragement and affirmation among other things. (:
*******
i’m looking forward to Primers’ Outing @ East Coast this coming Saturday, (special) dinner & church =). It will be profoundly delightful, i know. A good little respite after an (somewhat) unearthly week. <3
On my mark. Get set.
i know the limitations of New Year’s Resolutions, then again, i personally find it highly helpful to set the year right. It works for me (:
So here, you shall be my witness:
Spirituality
1) Personal walk with God
* Write in a spiritual journal every day, without fail.
- Notes from FireAC sharings, chapel, devotions, BBBS and sermons
- Revelations from the Bible during QT
- Prayers
* follow church’s Bible Reading Plan
* Intercede for the school etc every Saturday morning before parade begins
* TRY to keep the Sabbath day holy
2) School ministries
* FireAC
- Step in and step up according to God’s command
- Guard Christ’s enthroned position jealously
- Love my comrades in truth and in purity
- Be a good role model to my juniors in all aspects
* Class and beyond
- Be more sensitive and caring
- Be a better testimony in all aspects
Friendships
1) Focus on significant ones, and those i’m called into
2) Cut down idle socialization
3) Remember friends’ birthdays and at least be a well-wisher
Work
1) Academic
* Now a priority, so MUCH MORE time, focus, and energy need to be poured in
* Finish all my homework before play
* Be more generous and helpful
2) BB
* Dare to take frontline responsibilities
* Stop being perfectionistic and get work over and done with asap
* Love and get to know my juniors more
Leisure
* Maximum 5min on Facebook during school days (birthday wishes & wall post reply etc)
Maximum 30min on weekends (upload photos, catch up with friends etc)
* Blog at most once every week
* Exercise at least 3 time per week (excluding PE & BB)
* Do not go out except for special cases
***********************************************
(: This is it, may 2009 be a year of daring to be excellent. In Christ, by Christ and for Christ! =D
1 Timothy 4:12
Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.
2 Timothy 1:7
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.
1 John 5:14-15
This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us – whatever we ask – we know that we have what we asked of him.
Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Now, GO!
Rounding up 2008
Once again it is this time of the year…
i was looking through the archives of my blogs, MSN convos, emails, the works i’ve done (BB policy paper, SOP, Bio pracs, commentaries, EE etc etc) and saw God’s hand in it all. Hence i would like to end this year with gratitude and begin 2009 on a note of faith. Christ Jesus my Lord and Saviour has been good to me, indeed He is faithful and true, carrying me through all the ups and downs as promised, and most importantly, granting me a deeper revelation of Himself.
The year has been the most turbulent so far, particularly on the spiritual and emotional level (not an intelligent year as i hoped, sadly). It’s difficult to unload thoughts and feelings from my mind all at once.. but i’ll try.
Spirituality
i’ve been exceedingly and immensely blessed in this respect as i made this the top priority of the year. Thanks be to God, and my dear brothers and sisters in Christ who edified me in Spirit and in Truth! These are some amazing people i would especially like to acknowledge and thank:
1. John Tay
i can never thank you enough for taking the risk and became my mentor in FireAC. Thank you for teaching me how to pray & intercede with with every fiber of my being and delight in it (because to be with Christ is most delightful), for inspiring me to be more firmly rooted in the Word, for admonishing me when my judgment is clouded, for reassuring me (of God’s unfailing grace and faithfulness) when i realized the gravity of my sins, for urging me to be zealous & sacrificial in doing God’s work, for the books (The Kneeling Christian. An Acceptable Sacrifice. Back to Jerusalem), and for praying that i’ll love Jesus through and through. You have became a role model of passion, compassion and humility (tho i really disliked your pride when i first got to know you) to me. By refusing to take credit for yourself but giving all glory to God whenever i thank you, you have shown yourself faithful and humble before the Lord, and that is true courage and strength. i will take up the blazing baton and pass it on to my junior in good condition, by the grace and mercy of God as well. May our God Himself continue to preserve you and sanctify you as you delight in Him, so that you may be more and more Christlike!
2. Caleb Lin
Like i said, all the antagonistic “arguments” (as you put it) we exchange helped to put all things into perspective. Thank you for all the challenging questions that pointed me to Christ Himself with His absolute and constant goodness! (: i really do have a lot to learn from you. Thank you for your faithfulness and commitment to God’s work in FireAC and in class, despite all the undesirable happenings throughout the course of the year. Thanks for the yummy food you personally cooked and snacks you bought to share with all (i suppose your locker number is the hottest in ACSi) during gatherings etc. You have been a generous blessing. May God continue to prosper you in all things as your soul prospers with an ever increasing knowledge of Christ Himself!
3. Timothy Lim
(: Your words (spoken and written on blog) and prayer never fail to comfort, encourage and inspire. You have blazed the trail and exhibit the glory of God in so many areas, so remarkably, and yet remain humble and helpful. So thank you for setting a good example (of diligence and perseverance too) in Christ. Thank you for loving and caring for us when we are down, for calling us when we needed someone to talk to and pray with. May God set Himself before you as always, leading you in all wisdom and truth.
4. Kenneth Lim
Thank you for your obedience and faith to establish FireAC and keep it moving. Through serving in this ministry i’ve grown so much in the knowledge of God & people, and forged precious friendship that can last forever (the blood of Christ binds and redeems). Thank you for your brotherly kindness & concern at times, especially when i’m not doing well (such as for mid-years). Some of your words are faith-filled and very inspiring, thank you for speaking life! May God continue to use you mightily and exalt you as you humble yourself before Him, may you abide in Him with joy for He is our portion and hope always. (:
5. Emil Ng
Thank you for encouraging me in the Lord from time to time, for giving me your e-Sword too! xD You have inspired me to worship God in Spirit and in Truth, from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for leading worship faithfully in FireAC. i pray that you will have no lack as you abide in Christ and as He mould you in His likeness day by day.
6. Daniel Chng
Thank you for receiving me so warmly into FireAC and BB in the beginning of the year, and for trusting me enough to share the issues of your heart (it’s still safe with me) during that period of time too. Thank you for showing me your spiritual journal, which touched me deeply (the imagery of the silver and the silversmith). You also inspired me to love the Word. May God grant you the courage to glorify Him even in adverse situations and draw you closer to Himself as you seek Him.
7. Mr Charles Ng
Thank you Sir for building us up in God through sharing during FireAC pitstops, Primers Bible Studies and blogging (your blog is one of the most edifying one i know of). Thank you for nurturing so many God-fearing men during your service as the OIC of my seniors. i have learnt a lot from God through you. May God grant you the wisdom and discernment to find yourself a wife of noble character and have children who love God wholeheartedly, as you find sufficiency in Christ and seek to glorify Him in all things. (x
8. Timothy Loh
Hello world, this is me thanking my godbrother here!
Thank you 干弟 for the wonderful time during WoW, where God moved powerfully in our midst. It is really awesome to see God empowering you to lead the devotions that caused many of us to confess our sins & repent, and brought Shiru and Lisa (our new sisters in Christ!) into the bond of Love. i’m very proud of you (=
May you find the Holy Spirit our Comforter, Helper and Counselor as your best friend, and may God grant you knowledge, understanding and wisdom in abundance so that you will be more effective for Him. <3
9. The evergreen sisterhood
My dearest fellow darling (you know who you are) babes of BB. Thank you for the wonderful times we had praying with one another, to seek God Himself, to seek for His counsel to handle all the mess we got ourselves into, and for our friends and families etc, throughout the course of this tumultuous year. The spiritual connection we shared at various points in time were astounding, and heartening as well. Thank you for the times where we opened up ourselves to one another with all honesty and vulnerability, for that speaks of trust and genuine love, the kind of friendship that is so so so so difficult to find nowadays!! How precious it is.
i pray sincerely that each and every one of us will enthrone Jesus as our First Love, because He is the center of all things, and in Him all things hold together (that include our sanity, and the sisterly love that we share). 2009 may be insane to us at times, but with God as our guide, and with each other by our side, we will brave through the storms, sure and stedfast!
BB GIRLS FOR THE WIN!!!!!!! =D
Relationships
1) BGR
Not ready to blog about it yet, but i do have a lot to say about it… till a more appropriate time, i promise.
Just in case anyone gets a wrong idea, i have made a covenant with God since 15, to abstain from BGR till 20 years of age. i have not, and will not break it.
2) Friendship
In an old blog post written on 21/09/2007, i wrote, “Talking about friends, to me, it has always been the quality and never the quantity. i’m contented to have a handful of close friends instead of a bunch of acquaintances. Then again, quantity is potential quality; the acquaintance of today might be your intimate friend tomorrow. Therefore, i will breakthrough my cocoon, be much more outgoing, and make lots of friends in the years ahead. Hahas, sounds like an emergence of a social butterfly!”
Coming to ACS, joining FireAC and BB are the best decisions i’ve ever made after The Best decision to follow Jesus. Actually God made those decisions and presented them to me (so i can still choose to turn them down) and i merely obeyed willingly. Not only did i find God and encountered Him more profoundly, i began to chum around, and gained many genuine and rare friends. These friendships seem too good to be true, but they really do exist, because they are anointed by the Presence of God. In His Presence, miracles are the norm.
Besides those mentioned above, there are people like Nicole Poh and Timothy Liang who are my best female friend in class and best guy friend in BB at this point in time… and many more close friends to name. Thank God for every single one of them <3
Work
1) BB
The late nights of churning out policy paper, standard operating procedures, administrative instructions etc have taught me the art of administration and increased my capacity and tenacity. It’s all worthy it.
2) Academic
The only regret i have this year is not working hard enough on my school work and getting average grades (tho i do give thanks for God’s grace in this). Then again i must thank people who helped me along the way, Jiayi (a year 7 who is studying in UCL now) for all the textbooks she passed me. John for tirelessly explain concepts, giving me his book, lending & giving me his notes, and for his encouragement. Kenneth, Timlim and Emil for giving me their notes and encourage me from time to time. Daniel and Charles for helping me with Econs. Audrey for all the precious notes and the help she willingly offered etc. Jayne, Sam, Pet for taking notes and sharing them generously with me. Nicole for giving me study tips and inspiring me to study smart. Tina for her company in and out of intensive mugging season, and for her notes. Even Timliang, for indirectly helping me with Bio, and reminding me to work hard.
2009 must be different. Studies will climb up my priority ladder but i do not want to compromise on Spirituality and significant friendships as well. So it will be a year of discipline (it is true that i lack self-restrain this year, wasting time on unproductive things) and faithfulness. And ultimately, that of fruitfulness! =)
To God Be The Glory. The Best Is Yet To Be!
=D Have a blessed and bountiful 2009 ahead!
Playtime
Oh my, more than half way thru the hols and i’m still playing and NOT getting ANY of my WORK totally done… )=
Love those precious moments spent with dear ones tho, times like these:
TRAFFIC LIGHT! And it wasn’t even planned. xD
Oh wellz…
Mission Trip cancellation
Dear Lord,
We came before You confused, disappointed, compliant etc. Lord, once again i want to lay these jumbled feelings down before You. We acknowledge that many things are out of our control, and we cannot always have our ways in this world, but our hearts and minds are within our control (thank You for giving us the freedom of personal choice, but grant us discernment to make wise decisions too please), so i pray that we’ll always choose to let You have Your way in our hearts and minds.
We may not understand why things turn out this way after getting convictions and getting into actions, but Lord we trust that You are Sovereign, You allow the cancellation to happen for a reason, and it fits Your perfect master plan, which is good. So, help us, Lord to wait on You with trust, thanksgiving and faithfulness.
May You be with the children whom we were called to serve. We can no longer be Your hands and feet for them this time round, so may You pour out Your love on them through other means, and draw them closer to you.
Help us also, to be sober and vigilant, for indeed the mission field is where our feet are on, wherever and whenever.
In Jesus’s Name, Amen.
ATTENTION! =D
TOMORROW,
16 OCTOBER 2008
MARKS THE HISTORICAL EVENT
in Anglo-Chinese School (Independent)
OF
HAVING A GIRL TAKING OVER
PARADE COMMANDERSHIP!!!!!!!
Woohoo, go girl go <3
Over. Right!
>< Promos are finally over!
Got a flu attack which was quite bad, but thank God for enabling me to pull through in the end. (=
Thanks for your prayers too. (x
The following months aren’t much of a holiday, i know. It’s a fleeting opportunity to be seized. It’s like a huge wave, if i don’t ride on it, i’ll be drowned…
Post-exams schedule is quite insane (to be updated):
8/10/2008
1) Class Outing at Botanic Garden (CMI. Need to SLEEP)
2) BaBes Sleepover Party at JC baby’s house! (a palace with private swimming pool, on which we talked for ~2hrs. Prayed with Sam after showering in Message Hall. Watched Step Up and KO at 4+am)
9-12/10/2008
3) SB Meeting
4) CF-FireAC retreat. (Thank God for showing us His way and bless us with His sweet sweet presence!)
5) BBHQ Thanksgiving Feast ushering duty. (Singapore Expo. Thanks Tim Liang for replacing me!)
6) Combat Skirmish with Y2s. (Ponned with Pet for CFireAC Retreat sharing preparation. Thank God for empowering us and speaking through us!!!)
7) Sleepover at Pet’s house!! (A nice night of sleep followed by Brunch with Auntie, Pet, Fang & Ben at Fish & Co.!! Thanks so much Auntie!!!)
8] Documentary film date on Yasukuni Shrine with mum, Ye wei’s family and 王老师 at National Museum.
9) Night out with Bi Xing, Ye Wei and Bingqing. (Good that mum didn’t allow and it was cancelled, cos we’ll probably end up in some pub or other underground places…)
15/10/2008
10) FireAC thanksgiving dinner <3
18/10/2008
11) Drill Examinations
12) Company Camp Mentor Training
13) Boarding School Gala Night (Scandalous)
24-26/10/2008
BB Company Camp (in sch and around Sg town. Best camp so far!)
Post-camp Pizza party!
27/10/2008
MCYC Camp Planning Meeting
27/10-13/11/2008
NYAA Gold logging meeting X2
CFireAC Meeting X2 (didn’t go =X)
MCYC Visitation X3
MCYC Camp meeting X2
EE Meeting
CL A2 extra lessons X3
IOC!!!
Service with Nick Vujicic 4&5 Nov (Mr Huang, Mark, Kin Ming, Pet, her jie, mummy, Karlo came!=D)
Visit Mark’s church with kiwi, “steven” & shi yi.
Olympiad training X5
SBO MCQ (at NTU.)
Mission skits meeting X2
Help out with skit script
MCYC CE meeting with Tim & Merpin (Ben had to leave)
Thai class X2
Violin lesson<3!!! X2
Move from Boarding back home (Took the whole morning to clear up and pack. 5 carriers, including 1 Huge luggage that was rock heavy.)
Boarding cluster last outing! (Ate at Pizza Hut, watched Sing to the Dawn. Was super late, cos it was straight after MCYC visit)
Shop for WOW (clothing, food etc)
WOW meeting
Visit ICA for IC issues
Borrow books from libraries(TOK, English A1 related and others)
House cleaning
Write devotion X2
13-19/11/2008
WOW (compulsory overseas CIP. Up the mountains of China, in the bitter winter cold)
29/11-7/12/2008
Khon Kaen Mission Trip training X4
11-20/12/2008
Khon Kaen Mission Trip
On top of all these, there will be Parades, EE (MUST complete by 11/12/2009!), TOK essay, revision, preparation for Y6, and i promised to go out with the following people<3:
1) Ye Wei & Bingqing
2) Nicole and other 4 Unity pals
3) Chyi Fang
4) 罗老师
5) Tina
6) Audrey (after IB Exams)
7) Girls of 5.10
Oh my son, i need clones!!!
