How have you been?

I suppose it’s a part of growing up, of moving away from public self-absorption & showing off towards private contemplation and sharing life’s precious moments, thoughts and emotions with only intimates in privacy, so as to avoid misinterpretation, misunderstanding, jealousy, envy and other forms of negative externalities of production.

(: a password protected one is what i’m moving towards… one that only Dear can access, besides God Almighty of course.

Before i gradually fade away from this public domain, there’s something amazing to share from the Life Application Bible on Proverbs 31:10-31:

Proverbs has a lot to say about women. How fitting that the book ends with a picture of a woman of strong character, great wisdom, many skills and great compassion.

Some people have the mistaken idea that the ideal woman in the Bible is retiring, servile, and entirely domestic. Not so! This woman is an excellent wife and mother. She is also a manufacturer, importer, manager, realtor, farmer, seamstress, upholster, and merchant. Her strength and dignity do not come from her amazing achievements, however. They are a result of her reverence for God. In our society where physical appearances counts for so much, it may surprise us to realize that her appearance is never mentioned. Her attractiveness comes entirely from her character.

The woman described in this chapter has outstanding abilities. Her family’s social position is high. In fact, she may not be one woman at all – she may be a composite portrait of ideal womanhood. Do not see her as a model to imitate in every detail; your days are not long enough to do everything she does! See her instead as an inspiration to be all you can be. We can’t be just like her, but we can learn from her industry, integrity, and resourcefulness.

The book of Proverbs begins with the command to fear the Lord and ends with the picture of a woman who fulfills this command. Her qualities are mentioned throughout the book: hard work, fear of God, respect for spouse, foresight, encouragement, care for others, concern for the poor, wisdom in handling money. These qualities, when coupled with fear of God, lead to enjoyment, success, honour, and worth. Proverbs is very practical for our day because it shows us how to become wise, make good decisions, and live according to God’s ideal.

Being in a solid relationship makes me realize that i’m much further away from this ideal than i thought, but for the one who loves me more than his own flesh, who has made so much sacrifices, and who is willing to lay down his life for me, i promise to prepare myself as a wife of noble character.

And this will be a shadow of the Splendid Reconciliation to come! <3

Despite all my failings, you remained faithful; you’re indeed my ever present help in times of need. Thank you for your forgiveness & unconditional love.

I have come to a deeper realization of my weaknesses, in this year of pressure and confusion. Lord, please grant me the faith & wisdom to sort things out and to truly trust and obey You in a spirit of humility & righteousness, with discernment. Lord, please be my guide; set my feet, sure & steadfast, in the everlasting way of Yours.

Teach me, O Lord, to number my days before i embark on tertiary education in UK. Help me to use these days to grow in the Word, to worship and to serve You.

Enable me to remember that all the days of my life are not of my own, but Yours, as i do forget that on many occasions. Help me to live in joyous sacrifice and sacrificial love as You did while You were on earth.

Lord, i thank You for leading me into a brand new year.
Have Your way in me, more than ever before.

With love,
Zhuo’er

Once in royal Davids city,
Stood a lowly cattle shed,
Where a mother laid her Baby,
In a manger for His bed:
Mary was that mother mild,
Jesus Christ, her little Child.

He came down to earth from heaven,
Who is God and Lord of all,
And His shelter was a stable,
And His cradle was a stall:
With the poor, and mean, and lowly,
Lived on earth our Saviour holy.

For He is our childhood’s pattern;
Day by day, like us, He grew;
He was little, weak, and helpless,
Tears and smiles, like us He knew;
And He cares when we are sad,
And He shares when we are glad.

And our eyes at last shall see Him,
Through His own redeeming love;
For that Child so dear and gentle,
Is our Lord in heaven above:
And He leads His children on,
To the place where He is gone.

We sang this in ORPC on a sunny Christmas morning. How touching it is! For love’s sake, the Almighty King of Glory humbly reduced Himself to a helpless and lowly babe, lived every moment of his life for us, and was sacrificially abused to death for sinners like you and i, that we may be reconciled with the Father and enjoy everlasting life on Heaven and abundant life on Earth. i sang only with my heart, and not with my lips, because if i did, there would be tear drops on the hymnal.

Tim, it is my greatest joy to worship & serve our Lord with you, for that’s the time where we are truly rich. Thank your wonderful folks for a memorable Christmas night. (:

I promise here that when i am set on high
and lifted to safety,
i will remember that i have been lowly
and mourning.
Times where i realize that i am weak,
that He is the One and Only…
who alone is more than sufficient for me.

Yes, Lord, despite the excruciating pain
and unstoppable tears,
my prayer is still the same:
Create in me a pure heart,
and renew in me a right spirit.
Cloth me in Your Presence,
and make me bear fruits in abundance.

Anna, if you happen to see this post (which is not supposed to be here), i want to thank you once again, from the bottom of my heart, for knowing God and loving Him so deeply, so that you can be such an effective channel of God’s blessing to me in my darkest hours and weakest moments. You are full of beauty and faith, to allow Christ to live and speak through you!

Also want to take this time to thank various people who have offered invaluable encouragement and support during this short but intense period: Mum, Dear Timliang, Charles, Allan, Yassy, Glenn, Ian, Gwen, Timloh, Daniel Loh, Tina, Lisa, Liu Yang, Sharon, Wilfred and Charmaine. <3

… is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.

i wanted to capture my experiences as an ACSib student in this post, but after writing and deleting many times, i realized that it is an impossible feat.

All that i can say is: THANK YOU GOD, for directing me into the school, for allowing me to experience soooo much and for guiding me through this final & crucial lap!

Honestly speaking, i’m very sad and reluctant to leave. Seldom do i feel a sentimental attachment to an institution, but ACS is an exception…

I was immensely touched and ministered by Ms Chock’s address today in the LT1. Her message is something that i will always treasure in my heart.

Prior to that, we finalized Project X. The responses were heartwarming and encouraging. Praise God!

(: He is great, and i am most blessed to submit to His will to be a part of this emblem of great endeavour. No one else will do, nothing else will do.

It’s time to bid this blog farewell for the time being (till 12 Nov).

A song that is stuck in my mind:

Desert Song (This is Our God)

This is my prayer in the desert
And all that’s within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it’s way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I’ll stand

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I’m filled to be emptied again
The seed I’ve recieved I will sow

Amen!

The time between end of IB exams and start of University term will be very crucial, it will play a determining role in practical things such as my chances of getting a scholarship and to a certain extent, my quality of life in the University. Hence, i will willingly sacrifice the promised Europe holiday trip to sharpen my mind for interviews, go for internships, job shadowing, read up for my courses etc.

Such a choice is purely pragmatic in nature, and it feels hollow to dive headlong into these affairs without being assured that there are spiritual & social significances to them as well. i suppose it’s God’s will to prevent us from engaging in the rat race that will slowly but surely bring us further and further away from His heart. The allure of prestige and wealth is more real than ever, but can i withstand the test and be purer and humbler in heart and do things that are truly significant, even at the expanse of (worldly) honour & glory?

For the past few months, He spoke through godly people such as Charles, who advised me to “do something really meaningful” during the extended break, such as to “serve in church, go overseas and work (mission trip!), or work in an NGO”. Hence, i used some time today (it will be a bit too late to start after IB exams) to research on internship opportunities in the social service sector and found something that moved me to tears:

The blog of Bridget Lew Tan.

As such, i have made up my mind, that i’ll be a down-to-earth angel immediately after my IB exams, to serve and to contribute to the community through at least 2 of these voluntary welfare organisations by the empowerment of God Almighty.

It is a truism as being clothed by the Presence of God and filled by the Spirit of Christ owns being wrapped in fanciful garb and loaded with sumptuous delicacies anytime. After all, “God never fails to provide according to His will”. (:

The timeless theme, earth and
heaven will pass away. It’s not a
dream, God will make all things
new that day. Gone is the curse
from which I stumbled and fell.
Evil is banished to eternal hell.

No more night. No more pain.
No more tears. Never crying
again. And praises to the great “I
AM.” We will live in the light of
the risen Lamb.

See all around, now the nations
bow down to sing. The only
sound is the praises to Christ,
our King. Slowly the names from
the book are read. I know the
King, so there’s no need to dread.

No more night. No more pain.
No more tears. Never crying
again. And praises to the great “I
AM.” We will live in the light of
the risen Lamb.

See over there, there’s a mansion,
oh that’s prepared just for me,
where I will live with my savior
eternally.

No more night. No more pain.
No more tears. Never crying
again. And praises to the great “I
AM.” We will live in the light of
the risen Lamb.

All praises to the great “I AM.”
We’re gonna live in the light of
the risen Lamb.

Had we but world enough, and time,
This coyness, lady, were no crime.
We would sit down and think which way
To walk, and pass our long love’s day;
Thou by the Indian Ganges’ side
Shouldst rubies find; I by the tide
Of Humber would complain. I would
Love you ten years before the Flood;
And you should, if you please, refuse
Till the conversion of the Jews.
My vegetable love should grow
Vaster than empires, and more slow.
An hundred years should go to praise
Thine eyes, and on thy forehead gaze;
Two hundred to adore each breast,
But thirty thousand to the rest;
An age at least to every part,
And the last age should show your heart.
For, lady, you deserve this state,
Nor would I love at lower rate.

But at my back I always hear
Time’s winged chariot hurrying near;
And yonder all before us lie
Deserts of vast eternity.
Thy beauty shall no more be found,
Nor, in thy marble vault, shall sound
My echoing song; then worms shall try
That long preserv’d virginity,
And your quaint honour turn to dust,
And into ashes all my lust.
The grave’s a fine and private place,
But none I think do there embrace.

Now therefore, while the youthful hue
Sits on thy skin like morning dew,
And while thy willing soul transpires
At every pore with instant fires,
Now let us sport us while we may;
And now, like am’rous birds of prey,
Rather at once our time devour,
Than languish in his slow-chapp’d power.
Let us roll all our strength, and all
Our sweetness, up into one ball;
And tear our pleasures with rough strife
Thorough the iron gates of life.
Thus, though we cannot make our sun
Stand still, yet we will make him run.

Oh, the charm of hyperbole!